Karma

Sometimes being nice just has it's own rewards.

So my brother and I have been going to Folklorama shows for the past two weeks. We whipped through our first family pack by Thursday of last week and thought we could easily get through another by the end of this week. However circumstances were not in our favor. He was tired, then I was sick, then he had stuff to do, and when we did go to a show on Tuesday I forgot to take the tickets. So we had a lot of tickets left when my older brother and I finally did get to a show tonight.

I looked at the family pack which had 10 tickets left and thought there's no way I'm going to use all of these in the next 3 days (Folklorama ends on Sunday) so I turned to the group behind us and asked if they already had tickets. They didn't so I offered to use some of my prepaid tickets to pay for their admission. We all missed the first show cut off by about 10 people so the organizers of the pavilion shuffled us upstairs to see the cultural displays and get some food before the show. Although some of the food was downstairs but they took us to get it and we were allowed to bring it up. Once my brother and I had gotten our downstairs food and found our way upstairs again we were sitting at the same table as the group of young girls (and a mother) that I had paid for. So we chatted a bit. Then we went down to watch the second show. Just before the show started the mom comes up to me with a plastic bag and says "the girls just wanted to say thanks". The bag was filled with all sorts of Scandinavian (that's the pavilion we went to tonight) goodies, Daim chocolates, some sort of Swedish strawberry cream cookies, Danish baking.

So it just goes to show that sometimes doing something out of the goodness of your heart has rewards. I didn't expect anything in return for admission I just thought I'd do a good deed for today. But I thought it would be rude to refuse the gift. So now I'm just going to have to eat sweets for the next week. THANKS GIRLS!

Another Random Sighting

Okay it's been a couple of years since the first one. About 4 in fact but still. Tonight I had another random run in with Jonathan Toews. The first one happened when me and my friend went to the mall, then to River City Sports and finally to Tim Horton's where he was with his family. Kinda strange but it was also a little exciting.

Tonight I was at the club with a couple of friends for a friend's birthday. I haven't been to a bar in about 6 months. Not since the last birthday party I attended. And who should arrive at the bar about 10 minutes later but our favorite Conn Smythe trophy winner. I knew right away that it was him but I didn't care, he's a young guy out on the town, big deal. But all night long you heard whispers of "Jonathan Toews". Then the birthday girl found me on her way to the bathroom and got really excited to tell me he was there.

So if it's not a big deal why am I writing about it? More to keep track of it than anything else. I mean if it keeps happening I have to assume he's stalking me, right? For the record I'm just kidding about the stalking part.

Weirdness

I'm sorry about the lack of blogging I've been otherwise occupied as of late. Well that's not exactly true I've been around the internets I've just been trying to sort some stuff out. As you know I'm extremely cerebral so I spend a lot of time trying to sort things out in my head before I get to the point of discussing them with anyone.

But lately I've been really bored and kind of lonely, not in a sexual sense but just in a lack of attention kind of way so I've found myself trying something I hadn't done in a really long time. I turned to the chatrooms of the internet. First of all with all this new social media to people still use chatrooms? Apparently yes, although also apparently for more sexual endeavors than for meeting new people. But I have managed to find a few new people to fill my time.

But let me tell you a story about one of the people I met. I've managed to find myself an internet stalker. Now this is probably mostly my fault but I guess I just didn't expect things to get out of hand so quickly. Things started off innocently enough, just getting all the typical details, age, location, occupation, level of education stuff like that. He seemed like an alright guy and since I don't photograph well I didn't have any current pictures to share so when he asked if he could see me I decided to turn on my webcam. Again totally innocent nothing more than a head shot and he told me he thought I was beautiful, and who doesn't love hearing how attractive they are? But towards the end of that first conversation I should have realized things were a little off when he told me he'd miss me. I, of course replied that he couldn't miss me because he had just met me.

Over the next 2 weeks we briefly chatted almost every day, again very general hey how are you, what did you do today kind of stuff. But then one day he asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend and I said I wasn't actively looking. Then I asked him the same question and he told me he had a girlfriend, to which I was confused because well as of two weeks before he had said he was single. So I inquired further, which made me even more confused. So I decided to drop the subject and move onto something else. So as a joke I asked him if he ever talked about me to his friends and he said yes. So then the follow up was of course what do you say about me. His answer was that he said he had a girlfriend, he was talking about me!

And that freaked me out. I had known this guy for like 3 weeks maybe and he was telling people I was his girlfriend. So at this point I really didn't know if I should just block him so that he wouldn't be able to talk to me anymore or stick it out and see if things returned to somewhat normal. I haven't really talked to him since but he's left me some messages to tell me he misses talking to me. So maybe things could return to normal. I haven't blocked him yet but I'm not above doing it either if things continue to be creepy.

For now I'm managed to not give away too much personal information and he is half a continent away so I think I'm fairly safe, but you just never kn0w what kind of creeps you're going to meet.

Stepping back into the real world

Part of my illness (and probably most illnesses for that matter) is the desire to withdraw from life. I've done a fair bit of this over the past year. Sure I've been going to all my treatments and I still go to Tim Horton's regularly so I'm not a total shut in, but I have kind of made a point of not making plans with people.

This has had two different consequences, the first is that I don't really know what's going on with all of the people who had been a part of my life until I got sick. It also showed who would actually miss me if I was no longer a part of their lives. Those people who haven't even bothered to send an e-mail or facebook message in the last year.

But this post is supposed to be about my efforts to reconnect with some of those people before I really attempt to get my whole life back in order. I've chosen to start with the people who I feel will be most supportive of my efforts. At the same time I don't want people that I'm not quite ready to see to feel that I'm ignoring them or something. That's not the point. It's simply that some people are aware of what I'm going through because I've been able to tell them at least a little bit about what's going on.

Yes it's a small step. But it's a step.

Wonderful Randomness

I had the most wonderful surprise today. I was standing in line at the cafeteria listening to the conversation of two med students when I hear someone call my name. I turned around to find one of my friends from residence who I hadn't seen in months.

So we had lunch together. It was really nice being able to catch up with someone that I hadn't seen in a while. I should really do it more often.

the scary thing about the internet

Even though there are all sorts of wonderful things about the internet I find it scary how much of it is accessible to everyone. I'm never really sure what could be used against me in the future. I mean things like Facebook which was developed with the intention of connecting people can be used by future and sometimes even current employers to determine an employees character outside of work.

What I'm thinking of now is actually about my illness. I've been struggling with it for a long time and being able to talk about it openly might help someone in the future who is dealing with the same thing. But I'm too afraid to talk about it here on my blog because someone might find it and it might prevent me from living the life that I may want to lead in the future.

It appears that I have gone missing

Hey there,

Listen I'm just going through a prolonged period of illness right now. Things seemed to be getting better and then they got worse. So what does this have to do with you? Well mostly I just wanted to let you know what was up since I disappeared rather suddenly. It's hard to get to a computer when you're not feeling well, even though I have two of them. So I really do apologize if anyone actually kept checking to see if I'd written something new.

So thank you for supporting my blogging addiction. I promise I'll get back to it as soon as I can.

Lots of Love,

Janalee

Our Technological Age

You know that game you play where you pick 3 things that you couldn't live without on a desert island? Well I had a random thought while I was getting ready to go out for dinner with an old friend, I think all of the things I couldn't live with out require electricity.

Seriously how did we ever live without internet? Or cell phones (I actually do live without a cell phone but only because everyone else has one so if I need to reach them I can)? Or a flat iron?

So what can't you live without? Do tell.

Maybe it's never the right time

I've been thinking a lot about fate lately. It's my way of getting through a lot of the tough things in life. I don't believe in God per say but I have to believe that something is guiding us to certain things.

Take the relapse of my illness. It doesn't just happen. It showed me that I needed to make changes in the way I'm living my life. It was really crappy timing what with my promotion and everything but it is what it is. Maybe it will lead to something wonderful. But then again maybe not.As I said previously there was a job opening that I was interested in, but this just isn't a good time for me.

I have a friend who talks about going back to school but just hasn't found the right time to take that leap.Maybe the challenge is not so much finding the opportunities that we want as overcoming the problem of bad timing.

It's been a while

I haven't updated in a while. I just haven't really had a whole lot to say. I've got a terrible head cold this week so all of my thoughts are consumed with being ill. I even took Tuesday off work which seemed like a good idea on Wednesday when I felt better but not so great when I felt even worse today.

But besides the sniffling, sneezing and teary eyes there isn't a whole lot going on with me these day.

Why do I only do this stuff when I'm alone

When I was a kid I used to love all sorts of paranormal ghost-y, UFO, crytozoology stuff. I always thought it was really cool. We used to have this book in the library that dealt with all of that stuff and my name was all over that sign-out card. As I got older I found that I didn't have nearly as much time for it as I used to.

So there is this show that deals with these sort of things ghostly and demonic called Paranormal State, where these college students investigate weird phenomena. I don't even know if the show is still making new episodes or if I'm just watching back episodes but anyway it seems like I only watch this show when I'm alone. For example, my brother is away this week so I'm alone in our loud apartment. I make sure not to watch it at night because I know how things I'm thinking about just before bed tend to seep into my dreams. But even so I find that when I wake up in the night I get a little spooked which is weird because I'm not actually afraid at all when I'm watching the show.

Well that sucked

So for the last couple of weeks I've been spending my Friday nights watching Miss America: Countdown to the Crown on TLC. The actual Miss America pageant was last night and I watched it while flipping back to the NHL All-Star Skills competition. 

I found that after watching these girls for 4 weeks I started to pick out some favorites. The same thing happened last year when they did a reality show for last year's pageant. Last year I really wanted Miss Indiana to win, this year I wanted anyone but Miss Indiana to win. And who do you think won? Oh right Indiana. But then I knew after the talent portion that she was going to win. I just found her a little annoying and kind of odd looking. I mean I guess she was pretty but in a non-traditional way. Also every time her name was called she looked like she was going to fall over. I mean okay you can be surprised but really this was a little over the top. 

A couple of changes

I can't say that I'm going to miss NaBloPoMo. It's annoying to have to write everyday instead of just writing when you really have something to say. But at the same time it does force you to think of something to say each day even if it's just "I've got nothing to say today". 

So as I was trying to come up with something to say for last night I tweaked some of the features of my blog. First you'll notice the new background. Every once in a while I like to see if there are any new templates out there that catch my eye. I kind of like this one, at least for now. Secondly you'll notice the new GRE word of the day. I'm in full GRE study mode now as I intend to apply to grad school in the fall for the following year. And really it never hurts to expand your vocabulary. Also you might notice that I got rid of the labels along the side. They'll probably return at some point but for right now I've decided to go it without them. Oh and the Archive drop down menu. Instead of it being an expanding menu I'm going with the drop down just to make things a little neater. 

What a rotten day

There was nothing in particular that was bad about today. It was just kind of an all around sucky day. The weather was brutal today after a lovely warm stretch we were back to -40C windchills. Work itself was okay. Although I was feeling both overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time if that's possible.  Well I guess it must be because that's how I felt. 

I was just in a really shitty mood all day and it's not really any better now. I feel bored but at the same time don't want to do anything. I can't even try sleeping because I went to bed at 8PM last night. Maybe I should just become a shut in. 

Dream Diary Episode 7: Okay now this is just getting weird

There are a lot of theories out there about the meaning of dreams. Some people believe that they are subconsciously trying to direct you in a certain path. I certainly hope that's not the case. I keep having dreams about a certain co-worker of mine who seems to be a really nice guy but totally not my type. He's not anyone's type. In fact anytime I happen to mention to someone that I'm having these dreams I get a certain reaction from the other person in the form of some sort of retching sound or a disturbed face, or even a laugh.

So last night I dreamed a bunch of things that aren't even true about him. But anyways apparently I was going with my parents to meet his parents (possibly for the first time I'm not entirely sure). But instead I met his 8 siblings (trust me he doesn't have 8 siblings, plus I'm not sure I would want to get involved with someone who comes from such fertile stock). Each kid had their own washing machine (yeah, I don't get it either). And one of his sisters wouldn't leave us alone. It was all very odd.

If anyone has any experience interpreting dreams I could clearly use the help.

Dream Diary Episode 6: What the hell was that?

Before I get into the ridiculousness of my dream a little background about where I work. At my company we have a help line. You know like the ones on the candy bar wrappers that you call if you have questions, comments or complaints. I've always admired these people because I've never thought I'd be very good at it. Well for the next 5 weeks I'm going through an occupational familiarization exercise with this people.

This week I'm just listening, for the next two week we're getting details about all of the things that go on at the company. After that we do a week of transcription where we take notes on the calls that we get and then we're on the phones. In all of this time we have mentors to help us with any questions that we might have about the job or the things they do or the things we do at the company as a whole.

So now the dream. I dreamed that my mentor decided that I was ready to actually take calls today and then instead of sitting with me, in case I didn't know how to deal with the call they just took off and left me to answer these questions. Not only that but they were questions about things that don't even exist. And then I started getting sick. Of course I couldn't just hang up on the guy so I was trying to finish the call. Then I really was sick, but I was throwing up clothes. And then my alarm clock went off.

So that was my extremely messed up dream. I really wish I had decided to stay home today. Dreaming about being sick is not a good way to start a Friday morning.

Am I self-centred?

I just realized when I looked to see if the post I had scheduled for yesterday actually worked that this blog is all about me. It says so right in the tag line. That makes me feel like a jerk.

Perhaps I need to find a little more focus for this thing. But usually I do just write whatever is on my mind at the time. Which of course is harder when you're trying to write everyday for a month.

The thing about blogs is that I think they should give some sort of insight on something otherwise they're just kind of there. And what do I have more insight on than me? Nothing. But I think I should probably change the tagline so that I don't sound like people actually care what s going on in my life.

I get the feeling this is going to be a long month

I'm 4 days into this blog-a-day thing and already I'm forgetting to post. I could be because I did two yesterday but more likely it's because I've spent the whole day being lazy and therefore not connected to the Internet.

In my general laziness I watched exactly no football today. Mostly because I'm still pissed that the Colts lost last night.

I also feel that I need to mention that it's freaking cold out right now. It's -37 Celsius with the windchill which is extremely freaking cold. Makes me glad I barely left my bed today.

As 2008 Comes to a Close

Is it still 3 days until 2009? Yes it is. Am I supposed to be on Blogcation? Yes I am. Did I just make up a word? Apparently. But here I am still posting. 

Good news (or bad I guess if you think my blog is terrible) I have signed up for NaBloPoMo (or National Blog Posting Month) in which I will attempt to post something everyday for the month of January. I was inspired by SA who attempted NaNoWriMo which involves writing a novel. Now, I don't have the kind of dedication to write an actual novel and as some of you who have read my short stories know things kind of end up going in crazy directions when I write so I thought I'd do this instead. 

This is probably the worst time to be doing this though given that one of my readers is about to become my temporary boss (you know who you are). But I'll try to ignore that and just do what I would normally do, just not on work hours. 

No Regrets

After all the over analyzing about what I would do if I got the job I applied for it turns out that the decision was made for me. I didn't get the job. That's okay now I have fortified in my mind the idea of stalking Jay Cutler, mixed with pursuing grad school. I even have a fool proof bench sitting plan provided by my friend Lisa.

No but seriously in a way I'm kind of glad it turned out the way it did. I don't have anything to regret about the experience and I'm not entirely mad at my company. At least I wasn't until I heard that one of the applicants was actually given the interview questions beforehand. That seems a little odd to me. I guess life isn't fair.