So much catch up

so yes I've been a bad blogger lately. There are several reasons for this, mostly it comes down to just not being in the mood to write. But I think it's time to start again .

So here we go:

Love life: Broke up with my boyfriend in November. It's sad but there were a lot of confounding factors; distance, unresolved feelings for someone else, occasionally feeling smothered by his caring. He's still a huge part of my life just not in a romantic sense. In fact he's coming to visit later this week. Yay!

Family: They're good. Went home for Christmas got to see everyone. No nieces or nephews, no engagements. I talk to my mom at least a couple times a week, she freaks out if I don't. My younger brother and I text every couple of weeks. The other two brothers I pretty much don't hear from.

Work: Work is great. Busy but great. I love my job, I love my co-workers, it pays the bills, but it's exhausting. I'm very much looking forward to this 4 day weekend I'm taking to accommodate my friend's visit.

Travel: I went to Phoenix in October, other than that it's just been to Winnipeg to see my family.  I'm hoping to go to Washington, D.C. late this spring. I'm a history geek so I love museums and for some odd reason national capitals tend to have a ton of them.

Fantasy Football: Finished 3rd in regular season. Lost my best receiver the last week of the regular season so I was screwed going into the playoffs. Lost my 2nd round matchup by 1 point. 1 measly point.

Real Football: As a Colts fan this season blew chunks. Honestly I knew Manning was good, but who knew the entire team would implode without him. On the upside Tim Tebow.

And on that Tebow note: This is fantastic. Tebow as a centaur is hilarious.

Okay that's enough for now I think.  I'll try to keep this thing much more up to date.

How do people manage?

I am so stressed. I have so much work to do to the point that even though I am supremely organized I can't stay on top of things, nor can I figure out where to start on some things.

It just all becomes a big ball of overwhelming. And working from home isn't going to cut it. I tend to get distracted, and lately because I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep. At least in the office I push past the tiredness and keep on working.

Any advice on how to juggle things?

Cutting back

I recently returned from a trip to see my boyfriend in Phoenix. The trip itself was wonderful. The flights on the other hand not quite so much. Due to connecting flights I was in 4 different airports in the 5 days between the time I left and the time I got back. That also means I took 4 different planes. I had difficulty buckling in every single one. Though granted it was a little more difficult in the very small regional planes.

So that leads me to my first cut back. I'm putting myself on a diet. So far it has been very difficult. It was going really well trying to eat just a little less than normal. Although I have to admit I would get a major case of the hungries around 9 pm. Then last week happened.

Let's just say last week was a total disaster. I had done really well the week before so I cut back my calorie budget to lose 1.5 lbs per week. Well that was a mistake. I was falling more and more behind each day. But today starts a new budget week so I'm going to try to stick with that.

The other part that I'm cutting back on is spending. I'm not really used to having to live within a budget. I've always been in a situation where I made more money than I spent so it was never a big deal. Spend what you need/want and tuck the rest away for later. Well this last year has been a bit of a wake up call for me. I've definitely overspent what I've made. So I've had to put a budget in force. The first thing is to track spending this month and cut a little bit. First went the cable, my beautiful, beautiful cable. I insisted on keeping my Super Sports pack though. As good as the Lions and the Bills have been this year I can imagine facing the NFL season without it. It also includes NHL centre ice, which kind of makes up for losing TSN.

I'll keep you updated with my progress.

Big meeting today, no sleep last night

Okay no sleep is a little strong I got a solid 4 hours.

Today I have a meeting with senior management at my company which will either result in me getting paid more money, or moving back to Manitoba to move back in with my parents. In the end it just costs way more to live here than I had anticipated and I've been drawing out of my savings and going into debt in order to pay my bills. I have worked really hard at getting better after being off work for 2 years with illness and have been walking a tight rope of living a high enough quality of life to stay health and paying for it.

I'm against this whole occupy Wall Street thing but its hard to understand how a person can have a full time job which is well above minimum wage and still not be able to pay their bills. I should also note that I don't have children or a car, so it's not like I live extravagantly. I do live alone, but shouldn't a full time job allow you to do that?

I don't know maybe I'm spoiled. But I need to pay off my debt and I'm not sure I see another way.

You know you're old when...

Ah yes, September is upon us. You know how I know? The students have returned. And you know how I know I'm getting old? Because it's 11 o'clock on a Saturday night and while the university kids are waiting at the bus stop to go out for the night, I have just returned from my evening's activities.

Now to get a good night's rest in anticipation of the first Sunday of football season. Speaking of which, I purchased NFL Sunday ticket, which means I get any game I want for the next month. It's on a month to month basis so I may or may not continue with it, depending how much use I actually get out of it.

My boyfriend is so amazing

I know it's been a while. So I'm sorry for that. But it's time to start posting again.

First of all my boyfriend and I just celebrated our 6 month anniversary last month. It was nice to have him there for the occasion. Secondly it's my birthday in 2 days, so he sent me a card (and a letter) in the mail because he forgot to bring it with him. Before I tell you what the card said let me also tell you that until I got home from work yesterday and had a 2 hours video chat with him I was about 80% sure that our relationship (or at least the romantic part) was over.

But the minute I read this card I started crying. I know it was just a Hallmark card, but I also know that it echoed a lot of the things that he tells me or has told me in the past. So here's what the card said.

Everyday, I write you love letters in my mind.
But for some reason, when I'm with you,
 I can't seem to find the right words to tell you what's in my heart.
I think of you every single day and discover something about you that makes me love you even more.
But when you're together, I get caught up in the moment and I forget everything I've wanted to tell you.
But on your birthday, I want you to know that even though sometimes the words fail me -
in my heart I write you love letters everyday.
Happy Birthday.

Then of course he added his own little personal note about how much he loves me and that he'll be thinking about me on my birthday.

As it stands, relationship wise, there are still some things that he and I need to work out. But we had a long talk last night and I think we're on a good path now.

disappearance without warning

My life is just so out of control these days. Rather than talking about what is going on in my life through my blog I've been largely internalizing it. Trust me, this is for the best. So for now I'm putting the blog on pause, hopefully I'll be back soon.

So it's all muscle stiffness

I have been feeling absolutely terrible the past couple of weeks. So bad in fact that on a number of occasions I have been close to packing up all of my stuff and moving back home. I've had headaches everyday for weeks. I've had to leave work on a number of occasions. I've gone for massages and they've helped a little but never really managed to break the cycle. I even talked to the head of my company (it's a small company), and told him that I may need to take some time off for medical reasons.

But today I decided to go and sit in the sauna in my building for a half hour and hope that I would be able to sweat out some toxins or something and start to feel a little better. And wow did it ever work. I'm not going to say that I'm 100% better because I'm not, there are definitely some other things going on. But today is the first time in a long time that I felt like I actually had energy to do things. I even did a few reps on the weight machine.

Easter in AZ

That's right I'm going to visit my boyfriend in less than 2 weeks. I can not wait. Long distance relationships suck, but we try to make the best of it.

We've got most of the trip planned already just waiting for his work schedule to be finalized then we'll know for sure how much time we have together and what we can do.

Time to finish a post

I just looked at my list of posts and found 4 unfinished drafts that I've started in the last 2 weeks. I thought I was about time that I sit down and finish one. In addition to those that I've actually started writing there have been about 3 times where I have started mentally drafting a post but haven't been at or near a computer.

So what to talk about? Well first of all that lotto ticket I mentioned... not a winner. Secondly work has been nearly unbearable lately. Third, I think I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Okay let's talk about that one a bit.

My boyfriend is awesome, but lately unbeknown to him (although it will be now since I know he reads this) I haven't been exactly fair to him. I don't know if all women compare their current boyfriends to past relationships, and I don't know if that will ever stop but I hope so. Because anytime anything happens with my current bf, let's call him Micheal (pseudonyms are fun) I compare it to my last boyfriend (or kinda boyfriend or whatever the hell it was). and I don't think that's fair to Micheal.

See the thing is I'm still friends with my kinda ex. Well not even friends. It's really hard to describe our current relationship, much like it was difficult to define our previous relationship. There is still a lot of flirty comments being bandied about. And I know I really ought to put the kibosh on things in that respect but to be honest he and I started flirting about 5 minutes into our first conversation and never really stopped. Except for those brief occasions when we didn't talk at all. And honestly if it's a choice between a little harmless flirting and not talking to him at all I'll take the flirting, because he's become one of my best friends.

I know I'm not technically doing anything wrong, but it still feels wrong and maybe that should be enough for me to decide to make a change. I don't know. I am just so scared of losing either of them. Any thoughts from the readers about how I should proceed?

Did I win the lotto?

I don't play the lottery. I never win anything anyway so why spend my money on it. But when my parents came to visit me I guess my mom bought a ticket and when I went home a couple weeks ago she gave it to me. Turns out she had a free play, so I got a ticket for this week's lotto. I heard it's 40 million this week. I could use 40 million. So I guess I have to go check and see if I'm a big winner.

Do you play the lotto? Regularly or just when there is a big jackpot?

Election Time

Hello Canadians,

Looks like we're heading for an election. We already know who I'll be voting for, though this time more for lack of better options than actual support for some of the stuff the government has been up to lately.  This post is a plea to those of you who are undecided or have already decided to vote Liberal.

Let me ask you one question, how can you honestly vote for a party who decided to vote against the budget BEFORE the budget was even announced? That's like voting for a 3 year old who doesn't like what you have to say so sticks her fingers in her ears and sings "nah, nah I can't hear you."  At least the NDP took the time to listen to what the government wanted to spend our hard earned tax dollars on before dismissing it.

You hear that people I just supported Jack Layton. Yup rather than being partisan even I have to support those who actually want to provide a government for Canada that actually does something for Canadians, when they can. Kudos to the NDP!

My absence

My blog has been sorely neglected lately. I apologize. Work has been crazy. Add on top of that a wicked head cold that has had me laid up in bed for the last 4 days and well it hasn't left a lot of time for blogging. Nor has my life been particularly interesting of late.

I DID go back to Winnipeg last weekend though. I can't believe it was only a week ago. It was fantastic to see my family. I didn't realize how much I had missed them.

I will try to keep you more up to date. I promise.

Reading for fun

Now that my e-reader is working again I can get back to all the reading I've been putting off. Sure I've read a couple of books in the meantime but it's just so nice to read it on the reader.

Before I broke my reader I started reading the Vampire Academy books. I heard about them through Goodreads.com and some of the reviews said they were better than the Twilight series. Having read them I have to agree. Yes they are teen fiction but sometimes it's nice to give your brain a few days off the hard stuff. There was lots of action, and Rose was not nearly as annoying as Bella. Sure the love story was kind of the same, Rose is in love with a guy, he leaves, she leans on another guy, first guy comes back and she's confused. Sadly that's kind of the story of my love life at the moment too. 

But all in all these books were a nice, easy, enjoyable read. If you're looking for something to curl up and relax with I highly recommend these ones.  Now I'm off to read some more non-fiction.

Do you enjoy books about vampires or are you over that now? What's your favorite genre? Any authors you'd recommend?

It's working

About a month ago I dropped my e-book reader in a tub full of water, accidentally of course. I was absolutely devestated as it was a gift from my brothers and I know how expensive it was. And also that my younger brother went out at 4am to pick it up from futureshop on boxing day because he had been going everyday for almost a week and they were always sold out.

But it is working again. It's a little worse for wear. Seriously it looks like I've had it for 5 years, instead of 3 months. But now I can use it again. In fact I downloaded I new book just this morning. More on that to come.

Goal of the Week

As usual lets start with last week's goal. I wanted to finish chapter 4 of my course. I did in fact finish chapter 4, what I didn't realize though is that the whole course is due at the end of April and I'm only halfway through. There is no way I'm going to finish. And so I have to purchase an extension.

I actually don't have a goal of the week for this week, except just to survive. There is so much going on at work that I can barely survive. I just come home and cry every night. I'm really considering packing up and moving home. I'm living in a constant state of anxiety and it's really wearing me out. So long story short, no goal this week.

The work road trip

Today I got to do my first traveling for work. Sure it was only to Simcoe but still it's something. My co-worker and I conducted interviews for a project we're working on. I'm hoping that this is the start of a lot more off site work for me. But we'll see what happens. Tomorrow it's back to the office to catch up on things that have come up over the last two days.

Goal of the week

It's been a while since I've done this, but I'm starting to stagnate a bit so it's time to start working on my goals of the week again.

This week's goal is to finish chapter 4 of my psych course. I haven't worked on it since December and I'm starting to run out of time.

Going on a budget

I've never really had to worry about my spending. I've always made enough money to cover my expenses. But since I've moved out to Ontario I've noticed that my expenses have sky rocketed. A big part of that is living on my own. If I had a roomate to share the Rent/TV/Internet with it would make a big difference in my excess income.  But now I'm going to have to watch my spending.

So I've figured that my budget is about $30 per day excluding rent, internet and phone. That means I've got to eat for under $30 per day too. I plan to keep track of how much I spend each day and keep a cumulative balance to see how I'm faring. This will allow me to "save up" for big purchases like shoes and clothes.

I know there are some great websites out there to help with personal finance. Do you use any? What would you recommend to keep me on my budget?

I think my cat is depressed

My parents flew in this past weekend to see me. It was really nice to see them. And they brought my cat. But my cat doesn't seem to be adjusting very well. He seemed pretty good the first couple of days but now he seems to be scared of me. And he's not eating or drinking much. I bought him some toys today, but he's never really been one for playing with toys so I don't know if that will help.

Any other ideas, besides taking him to the vet of course?