Sunday, April 17, 2011

So it's all muscle stiffness

I have been feeling absolutely terrible the past couple of weeks. So bad in fact that on a number of occasions I have been close to packing up all of my stuff and moving back home. I've had headaches everyday for weeks. I've had to leave work on a number of occasions. I've gone for massages and they've helped a little but never really managed to break the cycle. I even talked to the head of my company (it's a small company), and told him that I may need to take some time off for medical reasons.

But today I decided to go and sit in the sauna in my building for a half hour and hope that I would be able to sweat out some toxins or something and start to feel a little better. And wow did it ever work. I'm not going to say that I'm 100% better because I'm not, there are definitely some other things going on. But today is the first time in a long time that I felt like I actually had energy to do things. I even did a few reps on the weight machine.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Easter in AZ

That's right I'm going to visit my boyfriend in less than 2 weeks. I can not wait. Long distance relationships suck, but we try to make the best of it.

We've got most of the trip planned already just waiting for his work schedule to be finalized then we'll know for sure how much time we have together and what we can do.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Time to finish a post

I just looked at my list of posts and found 4 unfinished drafts that I've started in the last 2 weeks. I thought I was about time that I sit down and finish one. In addition to those that I've actually started writing there have been about 3 times where I have started mentally drafting a post but haven't been at or near a computer.

So what to talk about? Well first of all that lotto ticket I mentioned... not a winner. Secondly work has been nearly unbearable lately. Third, I think I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Okay let's talk about that one a bit.

My boyfriend is awesome, but lately unbeknown to him (although it will be now since I know he reads this) I haven't been exactly fair to him. I don't know if all women compare their current boyfriends to past relationships, and I don't know if that will ever stop but I hope so. Because anytime anything happens with my current bf, let's call him Micheal (pseudonyms are fun) I compare it to my last boyfriend (or kinda boyfriend or whatever the hell it was). and I don't think that's fair to Micheal.

See the thing is I'm still friends with my kinda ex. Well not even friends. It's really hard to describe our current relationship, much like it was difficult to define our previous relationship. There is still a lot of flirty comments being bandied about. And I know I really ought to put the kibosh on things in that respect but to be honest he and I started flirting about 5 minutes into our first conversation and never really stopped. Except for those brief occasions when we didn't talk at all. And honestly if it's a choice between a little harmless flirting and not talking to him at all I'll take the flirting, because he's become one of my best friends.

I know I'm not technically doing anything wrong, but it still feels wrong and maybe that should be enough for me to decide to make a change. I don't know. I am just so scared of losing either of them. Any thoughts from the readers about how I should proceed?