Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Time to finish a post

I just looked at my list of posts and found 4 unfinished drafts that I've started in the last 2 weeks. I thought I was about time that I sit down and finish one. In addition to those that I've actually started writing there have been about 3 times where I have started mentally drafting a post but haven't been at or near a computer.

So what to talk about? Well first of all that lotto ticket I mentioned... not a winner. Secondly work has been nearly unbearable lately. Third, I think I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Okay let's talk about that one a bit.

My boyfriend is awesome, but lately unbeknown to him (although it will be now since I know he reads this) I haven't been exactly fair to him. I don't know if all women compare their current boyfriends to past relationships, and I don't know if that will ever stop but I hope so. Because anytime anything happens with my current bf, let's call him Micheal (pseudonyms are fun) I compare it to my last boyfriend (or kinda boyfriend or whatever the hell it was). and I don't think that's fair to Micheal.

See the thing is I'm still friends with my kinda ex. Well not even friends. It's really hard to describe our current relationship, much like it was difficult to define our previous relationship. There is still a lot of flirty comments being bandied about. And I know I really ought to put the kibosh on things in that respect but to be honest he and I started flirting about 5 minutes into our first conversation and never really stopped. Except for those brief occasions when we didn't talk at all. And honestly if it's a choice between a little harmless flirting and not talking to him at all I'll take the flirting, because he's become one of my best friends.

I know I'm not technically doing anything wrong, but it still feels wrong and maybe that should be enough for me to decide to make a change. I don't know. I am just so scared of losing either of them. Any thoughts from the readers about how I should proceed?

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