Fantasy Football Season is Back

Last year's fantasy football season was kind of a bust for me. I spent about 5 weeks of it hospitalized and unable to participate fully. As a result I finished second last (the last place guy just quit). Anyway I had kind of thought since I wasn't really able to put out my best effort and it was getting close to the beginning of the season that I wouldn't be invited back this year.

But I got my invite yesterday and set up my team. Last year I named my team "Off Constantly" which was my brother's suggestion. And since my team was terrible I'm sure more than one of my league mates said "I beat Off Constantly this weekend". See how that's funny?

This year my team name is more topical. I went with "Favre's Sexy Texts" based on this Deadspin story. Also see this video tribute to the situation.

Can't wait for the draft to see who I get. Happy Football everybody.

My 2009-10 Fantasy Team

There is only one word to describe this year's team and that word is suck. They suck, which I guess means that I suck since my team has yet to win a single match up AND I've got the fewest points in the league.

I do however have a much more clever title for this year's version. Last year I called my team "So Bad" as in "this is going to end so bad". This year I named my team "Off Constantly" which means that whenever someone is talking about when they beat me they end up saying "I beat off constantly". I can't take credit for this brilliance though. I have to give it all to my younger brother since he thought of it first.

I don't even have any bench QBs to be excited with this year. Last year I sort of fell in love with Jay Cutler (even more so now but that's a story for another time).

Instead I get this:



and the incredibly old Kurt Warner.

Have I mentioned that my team sucks?

It's finally here...

... well almost. And it is football season. The first game is tonight and it's Pittsburgh vs Tennessee. It always seems so long between football seasons and being sick all this summer didn't exactly help either.

I am participating in the fantasy pool this year with the guys from work and this year we have another girl playing with us. Look like maybe I should be thinking about organizing a girl's pool for next year. I thought about doing one and a whole draft based on hotness but everyone else would have to share my level of commitment to make it work. I'll try to get it going for March Madness and the hotness bracket this year. Of course now it's getting to the point where it's creepy for me to say that Freshmen are hot. So this will probably be the last year for hotness bracket... sigh.

So Christmas Wishes Do Come True

Last week I decided that it would be excellent if we had a Broncos/Chargers AFC West Championship game to end the regular season. Of course that was dependant on a couple of things. The Broncos had to lose this week to Buffalo (which the did) and the Chargers had to beat Tampa Bay (which they did).

I can't really lie I was hoping that the Broncos would clinch a playoff spot. Even if they're terrible I like to watch them play. Okay that's not really true it's all about Jay Cutler. But really this game was going to happen whether it was for a championship or not so the fact that it means something is even batter.

Oh and while I'm on the topic of football, I lost in the first round of the playoff in fantasy so I'm out of the money but I'm in a 3rd place match up this week. Not that it means anything. Much like Saints beat down of the Lions (not that it was unexpected).

Only on MY fantasy team

This was another terrible fantasy week for me. Well actually it wasn't completly awful just that the other team was way better. Actually if only I had played Eddie Royal and Donald Driver I would be very very close. But I didn't so I lost by over 35 points, 36.5 points to be exact. Terrible.

Even worse is when you look to finalize on Saturday night and find out one of your top recievers (and yes this explains why I lose by over 35 points) has shot HIMSELF in the leg. Makes me want to look up the Wonderlic score for Plaxico Burress. Can you have a negative Wonderlic score? Well if you can I'm sure he did. FRICK!

Also for the next 4 Weeks since that's all I've got left of my fantasy season I will be posting my fantasy player of the week, the player with the highest point total that week as of Tuesday morning. This will include bench players. So far it's Jay Cutler but I still have a couple of guys playing tonight.

Just another reason to hate Brett Favre

I don't hate Brett Favre exactly I just can't stand the way that every announce makes a big deal about him. I can pretty much guarantee that if you watch an NFL game on tv there will be a mention of Brett Favre. Even if his team isn't playing.

Yesterday Favre and the Jets beat the to this point undefeated Tennesee Titans. So now not only do we have to deal with hearing about how Favre is a giant killer but we also have to put up with obnoxious Pats fans and their 16-0 for at least one more season.

On a more happy note, I won my fantasy match up thanks to a ridiculous game by Randy Moss. I keep starting him even though he's not been putting up great numbers and I kind of lucked into a good game this week. Although my starting Cutler because the Raiders suck move didn't work out so well. I just hope Brees doesn't waste his good game against Green Bay tonight.

Screw You, Kyle Orton

Also (too), what the crap Braylon Edwards? Way to have a good game when you're sitting on my bench. Once again my fantasy team got killed. This was a freaking terrible week. I should have started Jay Cutler, not that he was much better and he doesn't look nearly so much fun to drink with.

Although the injury to not-so-drunken Kyle Orton did lead to the return of Rex Grossman. It also lead to the return of the Rexy-Back video. Seriously every time I hear Sexy-Back I start singing these words instead. There is also a Matt Hasselback version of the song but it's not as cool.

Pre-game Jitters

There's a saying that goes "no one cares about you fantasy team" and you know it's probably true. But that's not going to stop me from talking about mine.

As you've seen I like to keep you updated on my team. This week I'm starting Kyle Orton at QB because well Drew Brees is on a bye week, Jay Cutler has a sketchy finger and Chicago is playing Detroit so there are points for the taking. So I'm a little nervous about the outcome.

Also if I lose my match-up this week then one of the guys will be overtaking me for first place. I've been having fun being in first place. Also because the guys are not taking the whole losing to a girl thing very well.

I think I'm probably a little too into this whole fantasy thing. It's pretty apparent when you boss starts asking you about it. But it's not like I'm checking it out at work because well it's blocked.

Yup, this is my starting QB people. If this doesn't go well I might have to pick up my own bottle of JD to ease the pain.

Why I hate fantasy football

I joined a Fantasy Football League at work this year. I was actually pretty psyched that the boys asked me to join. I'm also currently leading the league. So what's not to love, right?

Well this week my opponent in head to head has 4 players from my favorite team (I have none by the way). This makes it awfully difficult for me to cheer for the Colts knowing that every time someone on the Colts who isn't Peyton Manning touches the ball he's probably getting fantasy points. My fantasy team is also done for the week so I don't really have any excitement about tonight's game.

I hope the game ends 3-0 in favor of the Colts. At least he doesn't have Vinatieri kicking.

All I'm Asking For is a Little Consistency

Once again Drew Brees put up Ginormous numbers this week. Which is good because Denver is on a bye week so I had to play him in fantasy football. Not only did the Saints score a ton of points but they also beat the Chargers. I think I've mentioned that Philip Rivers is a giant douche. It would be nice though if Brees could at least be a little consistent. I mean I won last week's match up but only barely.

I won't actually know the results of this week's matchup until Tuesday because my opponent has 3 guys starting in the Monday night game. But I do know that I shouldn't have played Plaxico Burress since you know didn't start. I even checked to see if he was starting this morning and there was nothing to say that he wouldn't. Frick! It's still probably a better choice than Braylon Edwards.

Also can Tony Romo please get better? I really need better production out of Marion Barber. Although given that Romo is dating Jessica Simpson I'm sure this injury is making him stupider. I can just imagine brain cells being lost every time she talks. On the plus side I know that my opponent this week would have normally played Romo and he got stuck with Roethlisberger instead.

And so it begins

As you know I'm not a huge fan of my job. It has it's good days and it's bad days. I would be really sad to leave some of the people I've met at work. Even sadder if I wasn't there to collect when I win fantasy football (you know if Drew Brees and Jay Cutler don't crap out on me like they did last week). At the same time I think perhaps it's time to cut the cord.

I've watched five of my former classmates crawl up the ranks at my workplace each making more money than I do all because I was willing to settle and scared to try something else. Well I've just fixed up my resume for an internal posting and well if that doesn't work out, hell I've got an updated resume so I might as well test the waters.

Maybe I'll get scared and not be able to actually take that leap. Actually that's the most likely scenario. But I'd like to believe that if it came to it I would be able to do it but I have issues with change.

Yup, it's love

Anyone remember the days when I was in love with Eli Manning? When he would be absolutely terrible and I'd shrug it off and say "it's just one game". You know back before he was Superbowl MVP. Well you know how I was developing a big crush on Jay Cutler? . Yeah well my reaction to his play on Sunday where he threw more interceptions than touchdowns and did pretty much nothing for my fantasy team was "it's okay, I still love you". Dammit, what's wrong with me.

I've also noticed that he looks a little stoned, pretty much all the time. Much like my fantasy team I can only see this ending badly. Hopefully this was the result of a bye week for most of my favorite teams and will pass quickly.

In other news I'm back to a previous office crush. I'm hoping that this is just a residual feeling from the growing love of Jay Cutler. But I had a strange dream about him the other night. I very rarely remember my dreams so this is kind of strange.

I'm kind of worried about myself

I think you're all fully aware that I am playing fantasy football against a bunch of guys that I work with. If you're not aware of this fact then I probably haven't talked to you in the past month. Also as you know I've abandoned Drew Brees (who I love) for Jay Cutler as my starting QB.

Ever since I posted that McDonald's commercial I've found myself with a growing crush on Jay Cutler. It doesn't hurt that he's putting up ridiculous numbers and winning me fantasy match-ups. Also we have a mutual dislike of Phillip Rivers. I don't know the whole Rivers/Cutler history but Phillip Rivers is a douchebag. Actually my dislike of Phillip Rivers probably stems from this exact incident involving Jay Cutler:



Other Jay Cutler randomness that only makes him cuter in my very messed up mind. He's 6'3, I have this thing about height since my younger brother is 6'3. He's from Santa Clause, Indiana. He's got Type I diabetes. He played his college football at Vanderbilt which is not exactly known as a football school.

But he's not exactly cute. Case in point this is the best picture I could find of him:

But only liking a person because they are cute is shallow right? So you should all be encouraging this then.

Switching Allegiances

Last year just before the playoffs I made a list of my favorite NFL teams. It really wasn't so much a complete list as my top 5 teams followed by "a whole lot of teams no one cares about" and finally the Green Bay Packers and the New England Patriots.

My Top 5 Teams were:
1. Indianapolis Colts
2. New York Giants
3. New Orleans Saints
4. Dallas Cowboys
5. Denver Broncos

Hey, don't question my choices just go with it. Now I studied Economics at University so I've quite familiar with the concept of transitivity, that is if A is preferred to B and B is preferred to C then A must be preferred to C. So why in the world was I cheering for the Broncos over the Saints yesterday? The answer lies in my fantasy football team.

As I've noted before I have both Jay Cutler (who has been tearing it up) and Drew Brees (who despite how he's playing is hot) on my team. So deciding who to play week to week is kind of touch and go. This week I went with Cutler. As it turns out I would have had more points with Brees but I stand by my choice give last week's results.

Lucky for me I still had Jeremy Shockey to pick up some of those Saints offensive points (though not very many). For those of you who don't know he used to play for the Giants and I didn't like him there either but I'll deal since he's picking up some fantasy points for me.

See even he is admiring his abs. So I don't feel so bad.

It's Wednesday

I hate hump day. In true pessimist fashion I have trouble looking at it as half way to the weekend, instead it's only half way through my work week. It's also about this time in the week where I start to feel really tired and have to really drag ass in order to get through the day.

There are some nice things about a Wednesday though. For example the Hump Day Hottie over at Ladies... Also I don't have any annoying weekly reports to run like I do on Mondays. There have already been 2 days to discuss how bad my fantasy team was on Sunday/Monday so now I can prepare for the next week.

Also a plus is that I get paid tomorrow.

Sonofa...

You know who has the number one ranking in Fantasy Football right now? Jay Cutler. Do you know who has Jay Cutler on their fantasy roster but went with Drew Brees instead because she's a freaking idiot? Oh right that would be me. God Dammit!

Also just to confirm my post from earlier today, I went from most points last week to second last this week. Seriously what the hell team. Also Braylon Edwards is getting sat next week!... maybe... okay I'll probably take all week to think about it and then give him a third chance.

But here is an amusing McDonald's add with my new starting QB, Jay Cutler. Oh and also he'd better not start sucking as soon as I pull him off the freaking bench.

God my fantasy team sucks

Gah! Last week my team absolutely killed. This week they all stunk. Actually I can't say that exactly as I'm starting the Dallas defence and they don't play until tonight. Put mostly my team was a steaming pile of stink.


I haven't actually looked at the fantasy points today either (the free live tracking ended after week one), but I can only imagine given that stats that I've seen so far for my players that I lost miserably in this week's match up.



Right at the top of my list of players who are making me rather grumpy is Braylon Edwards. Yes I now I did fairly well to get him in the first place but given that our teams are all stacked he's got to actually perform in order for me to do well. Okay so 32 yards is not terrible. It's almost double what he had in the last game but I'm still less than impressed.



This however, I am rather impressed with:


Oh and on a final note, the Colts just barely squeaked out a win yesterday. This whole season is looking kind of shaky.

Drew Brees is a stud

I say that now but it may not last. Welcome to my first post about my fantasy football team (many more to come I'm sure). My starting Quarterback is Drew Brees who I already kind of loved (as you can see he has his own label). He also put up some nice numbers this weekend leading my fantasy team to an absolute slaughter of my opponent. Next week I won't be so lucky but for now I'll take it. Oh and for those of you know don't know he plays for the New Orleans Saints who I will not jinx by wearing my Saints t-shirt during games.

Side note: Do you know how hard it is to find a decent picture of Drew Brees after you've deleted all of the pictures you had saved of him?